So its officially over and I believe I have been through every range of emotion. I am going to try and be as diplomatic as possible, as I don't want this to become something ugly and awful. I also want to be as fair as possible, and keep details that aren't mine to tell out of it. I just believe that I shouldn't have to hide my feelings.
She has chosen to move on. This, in itself, is perfectly fine. I would never want someone to stay with me who didn't truly want to. I won't lie and say its easy... and I won't say that I haven't been struggling to keep my emotions in check, but ultimately I believe that what is best for her is most important. I have quite a few issues with things that have happened over the last two days, and it has become obvious that our feelings are not really being considered. It hurts, and it hurts badly.... especially since I tried so hard to make this work. The way it ended was cold, to say the least, but at least it was relatively drama free. My main concern in all of this is the children.
Life feels weird right now, and its not all because of the breakup. I'm still in training at work, so my schedule is odd, but I'm getting used to it. Taxes came back and Master bought D (formerly kitten) and I each a laptop and spent quite a bit on new clothes for us both. Yes, she gets to keep hers...lol. My laptop doesnt have paintshop on it yet though, so the pretty graphics cant happen yet. The clothes are wonderful and a lot of them were very much needed for work.
There has been no playtime at all because of the home situation. Its been akward to say the very least, and Master and i are both hoping that things settle down some. Our relationship is perfectly fine though, so we are not too concerned. Disappointed and frustrated (in all kinds of ways...lol) but not concerned. We have plans to get our schedule in line, and we are placing the girls in daycare, so we know we can work in some real protocols that will help us feel better and less out of synch. Having the girls in daycare will also allow them socialization time, which should help with their social development.
As for spanking... I am still due that spanking from awhile back, but there has been no time to get that done and over with. Its not going to be a fun one, so I'm not really looking forward to it... but I know its necessary since I really need discipline, especially when things are out of control in life. When things settle down and go back to normal, it will be wonderful.
Thats my update for now! I'm going to try and post more regularily. It would be easy if there were fun things to post about, but right now life isn't all that fun.
