HIS TONGUE + MY PUSSY = WOW!

Don't you hate it when people say that something is the best/nicest/greatest whatever that you have ever done/seen/etc. and you know that they are just "saying it?"

Yeah, well I do.

So I am going to say something THAT IS NOT A LIE. THAT IS NOT TO FEED SOMEBODIES EGO. THAT IS NOT BEING SAID FOR THE HELL OF IT.

Steven gave me THE BEST ORAL I have EVER EVER EVER had this morning.

No lie.

Oral sex is tricky. It is very personal. Very intimate. Very submissive. When you are having regular sex, you can control quite a bit. I can move my hips, change positions or angles, adjust my body so that he is hitting just the right spot. I can have rapid fire orgasms, or I can play a mind game and hold out. The same goes for GIVING oral...guys like it (and need it) differently. Some guys get off at the thought of a blow job, others make you work a little harder for that glorious warm, wet finale.

Oral is different for me than many women. I like the fullness that a cock gives me. Mouths and/or fingers can take a bit more to get me off. HOWEVER, some of the most amazing orgasms come from oral. They are different, and oh-so-good. And sometimes, JUST WHAT I WANT.

That being said, Steven has always been good down there. Sometimes when he heads south I am just not wanting it, and I say so. Just the other day he was joking that I didn't want him messing around with any oral, that I just wanted his cock, and wanted it THEN AND NOW.

So, last night we have a glorious night out. We start with hungry, needy sex, where I lost count of the orgasms, and it was just crazy good. We went to dinner, had drinks, got my van stuck in mud while trying to spin around on ice, and then retreated to our hotel room again. More hot sex followed...we watched some porn (which was very, very, very hot...), and had a great night of sleep together.

This morning, we ordered room service, and while waiting for it to come we were playing around. Steven was licking and sucking on my nipples, and all of a sudden I HAD TO HAVE HIS MOUTH ON MY PUSSY. So I asked for it.

And let me tell you, it was magic. It was amazing. The man has mad skills. I have known this from the beginning, but he has PERFECTED the art of ORAL ON MISSY. Holy shit, within a couple of minutes I had a mind blowing orgasm.

And to have it followed up by breakfast in bed and feeling totally pampered and loved and adored by the love of my life? Exquisite. I am still laughing at his possessive tone that he took when the room service arrived and he told me to cover my boobs before opening the door.

So...it was a wonderful time together. However, I fucked up. It isn't easy for me to readily admit it, but I did. I chose to act like a brat at the end of our time together this morning. I chose to get upset over something stupid. He needed to call his wife and check in, and I got pissy. NOT COOL.

I love to lose myself in the fake world where spouses don't exist, and we are each other's one and only.

And then when the cold water hits my face and I remember that right now, right this second, today, that this is NOT my reality, sometimes I can't fake it. It bugs me. I hate it.

So, I acted like a brat. And it wasn't cool. I apologized later, and I am truly sorry. However, it sucks. It sucks to not be IT. It sucks to not be the ONLY ONE.

I have decided that I need to stop viewing it as threatening. I need to have the mindset that our spouses are just TECHNICALITIES. That they are a piece of the puzzle, and that is the reality. And married or not, we share kids with them, and divorce won't make them disappear. So I had better get used to that.

And you know what? He was WITH ME. I mean, really. What a brat I was being. He wasn't pouring her coffee, kissing her boobs, licking her pussy, enjoying her company. He was doing that with ME. Every day he chooses to spend time on ME. Talking, texting, being together. He gives ME that time. He finds ways to be away from home to be with ME. He loves ME. It is with ME that he wants a future.

So, after having these deep thoughts, I have vowed to myself to be more courteous about this. To appreciate the time I get more than I already do. To recognize the great gift that our time together is. And to remember that he gives ME sooooo much, and even when it feels like not enough, that it has to be enough for now.

When Steven and I said our goodnights via texting tonight, he sent me this:

"I loved being out with you last night. Being together just makes me feel fantastic. We are meant to be together. For sure."

My thoughts EXACTLY.

FUCK ME SILLY

Sometimes getting completely lost in sex is the most amazing feeling ever.

To lose all awareness of everything...time, your surroundings, everything.

I did this last night.

And I REALLY NEEDED IT.

Round 1 was great, intense sex. Kisses, eye contact, oral...me getting a little emotional, and Steven whispering to just relax and let us do what we do best. Love each other. A little bit of everything, including some anal with Steven on top. This is really a pretty sweet position...you get the intimacy of being face to face while getting the naughtiness of anal. That is nice right there! Climax after climax...mmmmm...it was good. Some snuggle time afterwards was amazing too.

Round 2 was great, intense sex. YET, it was different.

At one point, Steven's cock was thrusting in and out of my mouth. His warm lips were teasing my nipples. I was working my friend, MR. HOT PINK VIBRATOR, around my clit, and occasionally sliding it in and out of me. MOST of my arousal was coming from is cock in my mouth. He would occasionally take it out, stroke it himself, and watching that right by my face was pretty hot. I flirted with mini-orgasms...not wanting to stop...letting the intensity grow...Steven was enjoying watching me play with MR. HOT PINK VIBRATOR...it was almost too much going on at once.

When he climbed on top of me and slid himself inside me (have I mentioned that feeling our bodies connected feels like I am just where I belong?) I continued to let MR. HOT PINK VIBRATOR buzz around my clit. Steven pounded and pounded, I looked at him, kissed him, touched his face. I knew he was close, and I was on the verge of something crazy. The knowledge that he was close to cumming was just what I needed...within seconds of each other we both explode orgasmically...and whatever the fuck noises I made cracked Steven up. It was seriously a crazy intense, long lasting, mind blowing orgasm. I felt what control I had of my body leave me, and I did a laugh/moan/scream/almost crying thing. I know I laughed...have you ever felt SO GOOD that laughing is all that you can do? It was like that. I was FUCKED SILLY.

My "real" life is in transition right now. My husband is going to slowly start to transition out of our house. I have talked to a lawyer. We need to talk to our children next week. My husband and I are on the same page...we know that we are doing what we need to do. What is best for both of us. There is no ugliness. No fighting. However, it is a lot for me to wrap my mind around. I am happy, sad, excited, scared. I am EXHAUSTED. I don't know when I have had a great night of sleep last. I am worried that Steven and I won't survive this transition I am going through. I am worried that when his time comes, when he is ready to dissolve his marriage, that I won't be what he needs. That I won't be a good support. There is SO MUCH on my mind.

And you know what? What I can't stop thinking about is HOW STRONG I AM. I can do this. My kids will be fine. They have two parents that love them, and will always take care of them. They will be fine. And I will too. I am also thinking that I am ONE STEP closer to where I belong...

This is a journey. A day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute journey. It isn't always pretty. It isn't always easy. It is exhausting. But, if I can lose myself for a few moments and embrace the true love that is between Steven and myself, I am okay. In that moment, I am okay.

I think great sex is like therapy. At least for me.

FISTING AND MORE

Yesterday was quite possibly a perfect day. I met Steven for a few minutes in the morning and stole some deep kisses...the kind that send blood flowing to your pussy and make you want to fuck right then and there. Then we met for lunch...ate and kissed and talked. We were dying for the evening to come so we could BE TOGETHER...we were both very horny, very needy, and watching the clock. We were teasing each other all day, talking about what we wanted to do to each other...driving each other nuts.

This is all fine and dandy...except I got careless and accidentally texted I AM HORNY to my very conservative, very frigid girlfriend instead of Steve. FUCK! I was MORTIFIED! I cleared it up by telling her it was meant for my husband, and then I told my husband in case she teased him about it later. Damn it! Thankfully it wasn't something more incriminating.

So...FINALLY...we are both off work.

We spent a few hours in a hotel room kissing, snuggling, eating pizza, and of course having sex. AND...I had wanted to play with fisting some more, and we did! And I did it! And it rocked! I was relaxed, and when Steven told me he was in me up to his wrist all I could think was THIS FEELS AMAZING! He was totally turned on by how I felt inside, and that when I climaxed he could feel the muscles contracting around his hand. I was unbelievably wet and soooooo turned on! He was really focusing on me down there, licking, sucking, feeling, teasing, working me up into a crazy sweaty orgasm. Steven has said all along that he loves every aspect of sex...the sights, sounds, feelings, tastes, etc. and he isn't lying! He was commenting on all of it...telling me how hot it looked, how good it tasted, how much he was enjoying it.

It is so hard for me to decide where I like Steven to cum...because I like it all so much. There is something really intimate about going home after being together and having traces of him still inside of me. There is something so hot about swallowing that I am unable to put it into words. However, last night I had the privelege of swallowing a load and having him shoot one on my back. I love how it feels as it hits my skin! It was funny, because he was pounding me from behind, and I was just about to tell him that I wanted him to cum on my back, when all of a sudden he pulled out and did it! We are so in sync sometimes it is scary.

We took a few pictures...watch for them on H.N.T.!

I am so in love. Sometimes I think it is a good thing that I can't SHOUT IT TO THE WORLD, because surely by now people would be sick of it! My Facebook status would be "SOOOOO IN LOVE" all the time...my Myspace status would be "I THINK STEVEN IS PERFECT!", and people would be nauseous after listening to me GUSH all damn day.

Oh, but the time will come...and obnoxious I will be. And I don't give a crap if it annoys people! If you have a good thing going on, tell the world, right? And if you don't...FIND A GOOD THING. He/She is out there. Somewhere.

I know this for a fact.

A WEEKEND TO REMEMBER

WHAT AN AMAZING WEEKEND!

We somehow finagled two consecutive nights together...OVERNIGHT. Glorious! I am still warm and fuzzy from it!

It was a matter of the planets aligning or something...my kids were with grandparents, he had realistic work related reasons to be gone, and my husband just does not care. We met up Friday night...at this point we were only thinking we had one night together. We got a room, and met there. Of course we had to have sex first (which was great, as always...love that cum on the back / Steve licks it up and gives it to me action!) Then we went out for some excellent seafood and drinks, and then went back to the bar that is at the hotel where we were staying. This bar is somewhere that I have frequented quite a bit over the years, and there is this older, CRABBY lady that works there. And she was waiting on us.

NO ONE that I have EVER been there with has ever gotten this woman to crack a smile.

And guess what? Steven has this woman LAUGHING and JOKING and DANCING and SINGING and having a great time. That is just the kind of guy he is.

We went back to our room, had wild and crazy sex all over the place (we had drank a bit downstairs) and finally decided that the bed was overrated and ended up on the floor. Apparently I wanted it hard and fast, and was being pretty demanding...nothing like alcohol to make me bossy...and to make me want a good, hard fuck. I had turned on my laptop and loaded some old school rap ...Naughty By Nature...Biggie...a little Eminem...good sex music. I was impressing Steven with my extensive knowledge of lyrics to non-mommy music, and acting like a drunken goof. Make that a GANGSTA' drunken goof.

After that, we should have gone to sleep, but the great sex had me amped up. Steven was lying on the bed, and I reminded him that WE WERE NOT 50 and told him that we needed some Taco Bell. I drove us across the street, we ordered (I guess I was being obnoxious there too), and took our food to "our lake" down the road. TACO BELL AFTER DRINKS AND GREAT SEX IS QUITE POSSIBLY THE BEST THING EVER. We ate our food, and while standing outside by "our lake" I decided I had to pee.

BAD IDEA. I am not a camper. Not a nature kind of girl. Not a squat and pee in the wild woman. Nope. Not at all. Yeah...I thought I had nailed it...until I stood up and realized I had been peeing on the leg of my pants.

Fuck. Seriously FUCKING embarrassing. Steven thought it was HILARIOUS...laughed at me the whole way back to our room...thank goodness it was in the middle of the night because I had to walk through the hotel like this! I was ready to walk in my panties and t-shirt, but Steven had the sense to discourage this.

We snuggled up in bed, slept, woke up and had another round of great sex, and both of us headed off to work.

PERFECTION. Later on Saturday, circumstances arose that made a second night feasible. Sweet! I was soooooooo excited. BONUS!!

We met up after work Saturday, and got a room at the Motel 6. Now...here is what I have to say about Motel 6. We have used them for a few hours here and there. Never overnight. But...Friday night we had stayed somewhere nice, and decided to be a little bit fiscally responsible with night number two. Long story short...the employee that is always there when we have gone there is great. Always nice, always gives us a room in the part that I request. I had told Steven that we needed to bring her something...so, being how he is, he checks in, chats with her, basically tells her the situation we have, etc. She is down with being discreet...I am sure Motel 6 sees it all. That is just how they roll. So...she tells him that she had assumed that we were what we are, and I hook her up with some yummy baked goods, and we are surely on our way to being friends...she is discreet, we take care of her, she takes care of us, it's all good.

We get settled in our room, leave a candle burning to get rid of the MOTEL 6 ROOM SMELL, and go to this AMAZING PLACE that Steven discovered early on in our relationship. This bar has THE BEST BURGER IN THE WORLD, good drinks, great karaoke, an amazing outdoor garden type area, and it is no where we would run into anyone we know. We ate, drank, hung out, and then were at a loss with what to do next.

We had toyed with the idea of going to the Swinger's Club. I was down with it at first, but I was also tired...the night before had worn me out...the other dilemma was that the later it gets, the more it becomes active, and being there fully clothed and watching isn't really the best. Watching has seemed to be the best earlier in the night.

We went to another place that we frequent, stayed there a bit listening to the WORST karaoke ever, and left.

So, we went back to our room, and laid on the bed watching funny videos on You Tube, and just hanging out. After midnight we decided to go down the road to Applebees and get a drink, AND HERE IS WHERE I GET TO THE BEST PART OF THE ENTIRE WEEKEND.

We are sitting there in the bar, talking about this and that. We were talking about places that are "our places" and Steven brought up a park/lake that we have gone to now and then to hang out and talk, and have junk food picnics.

And while talking about this place, we talk about the first time we were there. There was no one around, we walked down by the water...talking, and kissing. We took some cute pictures of us on my cell phone, and all of a sudden Steven grabs a stick.

And writes that he loves me in the sand.

And I snapped a picture with my phone, and told him that no one had ever written that they loved me in the sand before.
He was shocked. It was the honest truth. Never.

So, there we are at Applebees, reminiscing about that, and Steve tears up. With tears in his eyes he tells me that it makes him sad to think that no one had ever written that they loved me in the sand before. That I was so great, how could that have never happened with another guy? And that at the same time, he was glad that he was the first. Of course seeing him be emotional and sweet and tearing up makes me start crying. Steve blots the corner of my eyes with a napkin and we hug...having our own little sappy moment in the bar.

Seriously, is this not the sweetest guy ever? I have never felt so completely cared for. So completely loved. So complete.

We go back to our room, get ready for bed, and snuggle up together. After an amazing night's sleep, we had mind blowing sex this morning with nearly simultaneous orgasms as a finale. Steven has read about pussy massaging (there is some fancy word for it that is slipping my mind), and ladies...this is fabulous! He rubs me all over down there with lube, and it is euphoric...relaxing, exciting, arousing, crazy good feeling. It is about more than rubbing where you know it feels good...it is about the whole area. And by the time he slid his hard cock into me, I was crazy turned on. I decided to use a vibrator on my clit, and FOUGHT LIKE HELL to not cum. I could have so many times, but wouldn't let myself. It built and built, and we kept going and going...VERY intense like. No switching around, no position changes, just good intense sex. And Steven playing with my nipples was incredible for some reason...it always arouses me but it was way more than usual. As much as I love eye contact during sex, I was so focused on my own body that I couldn't focus on him. I was starting to feel delirious with pleasure when I came, and it took a bit for the room to stop spinning afterwards. Seriously the MOST CRAZY INTENSE orgasm I think I have ever had.

14+ hours later I am still walking on air, smiling, giddy, and more in love than ever.