FISTING AND MORE

Yesterday was quite possibly a perfect day. I met Steven for a few minutes in the morning and stole some deep kisses...the kind that send blood flowing to your pussy and make you want to fuck right then and there. Then we met for lunch...ate and kissed and talked. We were dying for the evening to come so we could BE TOGETHER...we were both very horny, very needy, and watching the clock. We were teasing each other all day, talking about what we wanted to do to each other...driving each other nuts.

This is all fine and dandy...except I got careless and accidentally texted I AM HORNY to my very conservative, very frigid girlfriend instead of Steve. FUCK! I was MORTIFIED! I cleared it up by telling her it was meant for my husband, and then I told my husband in case she teased him about it later. Damn it! Thankfully it wasn't something more incriminating.

So...FINALLY...we are both off work.

We spent a few hours in a hotel room kissing, snuggling, eating pizza, and of course having sex. AND...I had wanted to play with fisting some more, and we did! And I did it! And it rocked! I was relaxed, and when Steven told me he was in me up to his wrist all I could think was THIS FEELS AMAZING! He was totally turned on by how I felt inside, and that when I climaxed he could feel the muscles contracting around his hand. I was unbelievably wet and soooooo turned on! He was really focusing on me down there, licking, sucking, feeling, teasing, working me up into a crazy sweaty orgasm. Steven has said all along that he loves every aspect of sex...the sights, sounds, feelings, tastes, etc. and he isn't lying! He was commenting on all of it...telling me how hot it looked, how good it tasted, how much he was enjoying it.

It is so hard for me to decide where I like Steven to cum...because I like it all so much. There is something really intimate about going home after being together and having traces of him still inside of me. There is something so hot about swallowing that I am unable to put it into words. However, last night I had the privelege of swallowing a load and having him shoot one on my back. I love how it feels as it hits my skin! It was funny, because he was pounding me from behind, and I was just about to tell him that I wanted him to cum on my back, when all of a sudden he pulled out and did it! We are so in sync sometimes it is scary.

We took a few pictures...watch for them on H.N.T.!

I am so in love. Sometimes I think it is a good thing that I can't SHOUT IT TO THE WORLD, because surely by now people would be sick of it! My Facebook status would be "SOOOOO IN LOVE" all the time...my Myspace status would be "I THINK STEVEN IS PERFECT!", and people would be nauseous after listening to me GUSH all damn day.

Oh, but the time will come...and obnoxious I will be. And I don't give a crap if it annoys people! If you have a good thing going on, tell the world, right? And if you don't...FIND A GOOD THING. He/She is out there. Somewhere.

I know this for a fact.

MAKING LOVE

I have sex on the brain. IMAGINE THAT!

Steven and I have a hotel date tomorrow night, and I can't wait! We always have great sex, whether it is as vanilla as vanilla gets, or down right naughty and freaky, I love it all.

Something is up with me though...could be the feel of Fall in the air, could be any number of things. Whatever it is, I can't stop thinking about what I want to do tomorrow night! I was out to lunch with my sons today, and then a quick trip to Target, and I was OBSESSING over thoughts of what tomorrow night will be like. "No honey, we aren't buying a toy gun that shoots marshmallows" (mmmmm...I want to sit on his face tomorrow night) "Do we need toilet paper?" (maybe he will bite me a little...I do like that...) "Let's get in line over here." (MAN I WANT TO FUCK HIM SO BAD!)

Yes...that was my thought pattern.

We talked on the phone quite a bit today, and he knows I am HUNGRY for him. I told him I wanted to play with fisting some more tomorrow...he promised to lick and suck and tease and get me good and ready for it. I have images of the time we did it...the vibrator on my clit, his hand in me...mmmmm...

I really want to spend time on his cock too. In my mouth. Maybe he wants to try that little vibrator around (or in) his ass again? Lots of lube on his balls...my hands swirling around them as I suck on his hardness.

I am also in a photography mood. I have visions of some really sexy pictures of him...and I want to play with black and white. Sometimes taking the color out really emphasises the subject...I love taking pictures of him...of us...

Porn sounds fun too. Maybe we will find a little to watch online...just for kicks. It isn't always that arousing to me, but sometimes it is. It just depends. I wouldn't mind watching some together, we haven't done much lately.

I want every position tomorrow. I keep thinking about being on top...we had some good, intense sex earlier this week where I was on top, but laying on him...my fingers working my clit while he slid in and out...it ended in a very intense orgasm. The eye contact was great. I want some hard fucking from behind...I am thinking about bent over the bathroom counter so Steve can watch in the mirror. I want to be on top some. I want him on top. I want some slow, soft, heavy eye contact and sweet conversation sex too.

I want to lay next to Steve, and run my fingers all over his neck and back. Gently rubbing his body. Sometimes when I do this, I feel as if I am transferring the love that I feel for him through my fingertips and into his body. That sometimes it is more meaningful to touch him like I love him than telling him I love him.

I never grasped the term "MAKING LOVE" completely until now. All of a sudden I get it. That is what we do! Us! Steven and Missy! Making love! I get it I get it I get it! I want to shout it to the neighbors...the cars on the road...my employees...my cats...the people at Starbucks..."Can I get a iced grande nonfat mocha, and OH BY THE WAY I NOW KNOW WHY PEOPLE CALL IT MAKING LOVE!"

Ahhhhh....what a wonderful feeling...details of tomorrow night will surely be posted...I can't wait to kiss my sexy man and to wear us both out sexually! Is that possible? Hehe...

Life is good.

THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS. WE ARE CRAZZZZZZZY.

Evidence of another wonderful night together...yes, we begged, borrowed, and stole to get a sleepover last night. And when I left the hotel room this morning, Steven sent me this picture on his cell phone.

This is sooooo us. I mean, really...the MOTEL 6 logo on the phone just really seals the deal on the white trash factor...combined with the energy drink, cigarette, lighter, vibrator, lube, RUSH, gum, and......drum roll.......STEVE'S WEDDING RING. Yes, that is right, because REMOVING THE RING BEFORE FUCKING MAKES IT...never mind. It just makes it not fall off when lube is involved. You thought I had some backasswards justification happening, didn't you?

Yeah...I am not THAT nuts. Yet.

Let's just tell it like it is.

We are a bit nuts. Not psycho, dangerous around kids, watch out or I will steal your cat, I talk to myself all the time, look at me wrong and I will bite you nuts.

Nope, not that kind of nuts.

Nuts as in WE ARE REALLY GOOD, UPSTANDING CITIZENS THAT HAVE JOBS, AND LOTS OF KIDS, AND MORTGAGES, AND SPOUSES, AND CHURCHES, AND FRIENDS, AND HOBBIES, AND WE CAN HOLD AN INTELLIGENT CONVERSATION, FIGHT A WICKED FIGHT, AND DAMN IT WE ARE CUTE....BUT....we have this inner freak, party it up, run around and be silly, let's pretend we don't have responsibilities, yes that is us with the loud rap music dancing in the minivan....nuts.

THAT kind of nuts.

I asked Steve this morning if I was his mid life crisis. He refused to answer because he said it is a really dumb question.

In a sense though, we ARE each other's crisis. Really.

Our love is not a crisis. Our sex is not a crisis. Having fun together is not a crisis. What is a crisis is that we have been FUCKING STUCK. FUCKING TRAPPED. FUCKING UNFULFILLED. And THAT my friends, is a CRISIS.

And until the day comes that we can be free to be US...we live amongst crisis. We cram a full blown relationship, complete with head over heels love, into a fraction of what legit couples have. We have sex with fervor, knowing that any sex we get at home is merely like a JELLO PUDDING CUP when we know that the MUD PIE FROM RED ROBIN is out there counting the seconds until we meet again. We fight like our lives depend on it, because sometimes I think they do. Why not freak out on the one that GETS IT THE MOST? The one that UNDERSTANDS? The one that has filled this huge void, yet when you are apart the void is bigger than any void that was there before?

People take SO MUCH for granted. I admit, I have been this way before too. Yet, when I woke up this morning with a throbbing headache from too many margaritas, I was APPRECIATIVE.

I was APPRECIATIVE of Steven's skin touching mine. I was APPRECIATIVE of the hangover, because it meant that we had a wonderful, wild, crazy night together. I was APPRECIATIVE of the bed, the sheets, the roof, the warmth, the room...because that is so much more than many, many people have. I was APPRECIATIVE of exhaustion...because what caused that was having sex for 2 hours in the middle of the night. I was APPRECIATIVE of Steven...thankful that he found me, thankful that we have each other, thankful that he is my future.

It is way too easy to take it for granted. Eleven years ago, I was a year into marriage with a new baby, working on buying a home, a decent job, and looking forward to a future of all that is bright and shiny. I was 19 going on 40. And I APPRECIATED none of it (except the baby). And after watching my marriage unravel, my sex life with my husband become bleak, and the realization that I went from a senior in high school to a van driving mommy overnight, I feel cheated. By my own doing.

SO...I am acting out a bit. Just a skosh. Steven is too. We pretend we aren't.

But really, we are.

And guess what? I am OKAY with being a bit nuts. And if this is more than a phase, I am okay with that too. If we become senior citizens that are having a few too many drinks on a Saturday night, stopping in at a Swinger's Club, and then having sex all night, WHO CARES? The reality is that we are both having needs met that have been neglected for years. Everything that we do is special, meaningful, precious. Everything we do is feeding us in some way, shape, or form.

We have so much fun together...I love being in public with him...I love seeing him get checked out by other women AND HE IS MINE and that feels amazing. I love how he makes me laugh. I love how comfortable we are together. I love that we are so intertwined with each other's lives that we often have to stop ourselves from talking about each other to our friends and families.

And I love how adventurous we are. I feel so free when we are together. I try new things. Last night I HAD MY FIRST FULL BLOWN FISTING EXPERIENCE. If you are into this, leave a comment...I want to know what other people think. I liked it. I wasn't sure if I wanted his hand moved a lot once it was in, but I certainly liked the feeling of fullness. There is certainly a level of trust and patience required, and it has a feeling of intimacy that is really hard to explain.

My only regret is that I wasn't completely sober. Next time I will be.

I have spent some time this morning reading about fisting, and what I have found is quite interesting. There is quite a bit of writing out there on the spiritual aspect of fisting. The first article I read talked about what the fist can be symbolic of from a biblical sense, complete with scripture to back it up. I was questioning this a bit, but kept researching (nerd that I am). What I found is that there are books on this, many articles, and dozens of personal testimonies from people seriously moved by the highly sensual yet spiritual experiences that they have had with fisting.

So...our two hour sexathon was amazing. All of it was great. I needed that. I haven't been with someone, ever, that I could just PLAY with for hours on end. Steve stays hard. Can cum when he wants and it isn't over if he doesn't want it to be. He is patient, and eager to please. He is excited to do it all, and loves making me happy. Steven absorbs all aspects of sex...he pays close attention, and humors me by recapping it to me when I ask afterwards.

I want to read more on fisting and do this again, ASAP.

Our finale was him cumming in my ass (he teases me because when we first met I said this was one thing I wasn't really crazy about...funny how things change...I have let him do it twice now...) while he was on top of me. This was the ultimate in intimate endings, a perfect way to end an intimate time in bed. Looking at his beautiful face, his eyes fierce with love for me, and feeling my body completely relaxed and surrendered to him...truly amazing.

Mid life crisis? Nah

Nuts? Okay, in some ways.

Building a future amongst an underground life speckled with incredible sex, crazy ass moments of juvenile behavior, good food and better drinks, Camel Lights, hotel rooms, lube, unknowing spouses, lots of kids, and above it all an incredible amount of love for each other? YES. THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT WE ARE DOING.