Second random thought: RISK.
As is having an extramarital affair isn't naughty enough...sometimes doing stuff that isn't a part of your "real" life when you are with someone that isn't a part of your "real" life is very exciting. I love drinking and smoking with Steve, two things that aren't a part of our real lives for the most part. Never in a million years would I have been willing to have naked pictures taken of me, again, something that I have enjoyed with Steven. Perhaps it is the RISK FACTOR, but I really believe it is WHO I am doing things with that makes it exciting...I would bet folding laundry with Steve could be hot.
Aside from our sexual experimentation, and just the sheer joy that comes from being together, we have found other things that we enjoy doing. Steven is a FOOD LOVER (like NO ONE THAT I HAVE EVER MET BEFORE) and it is just not fair that he maintains his perfect body regardless. He has a broad knowledge of "low risk" restaurants and bars that are usually in places that are of minimal concern...running into someone there is so unlikely that it isn't even funny. And he enjoys the whole EXPERIENCE of eating together, which has been a new thing for me. At first I thought it was funny, but I am starting to get it. Steven finds pleasure in almost everything, including sharing a meal. It's quite sweet. And, yes, we aren't hanging out at the restaurants in my town or his, but still...it is a very public RISK.
We have frequented a small bar several times together often enough that our drinks are known by the bartender. And of course, being the friendliest guy on earth, Steven knows her name. And sometimes we wonder, do we appear to be what we are? Do we LOOK like people that are married to OTHER people? I would love to know! The last time we were there, the bartender referred to me as his GIRLFRIEND. We rarely go anywhere without our wedding rings on, so??? This is just one of those things that I really would be interested in asking some random stranger. What do you think our relationship is? Again, just frequenting somewhere repeatedly could be considered a RISK.
We have both been in positions of having to think fast with regard to our relationship. He stopped in at my work...quick, how did I meet him? Concoct believable story. Friends on Facebook? I am now a "customer" of his at work. Believable story concocted. It is alarming at how easy lying can become. Easy, yet NECESSARY. And...a potential RISK.
So...here is the point of all of this RISK talk. We decided, last night, to drink at a place that I have been frequenting with friends for over 5 years. It's small, dark, and not what I would call a hip place to hang at. It tends to draw an older crowd, be a bit of a meat market, but is usually a pretty fun place.
We arrived, had ordered drinks, and Steven went to use the bathroom. And all of a sudden, he is calling me. I answer, and in a mildly panicked tone he informs me that my co-worker is there, and saw him, and was headed towards me. Apparently, she said hi, and asked who he was with. Without answering, he eluded that it was me, and directed her to where I was sitting. Now, about this co-worker. She has met Steve, knows that we are friends. That is the extent of it. She has hinted that she thinks he "likes me". She is someone that isn't naturally a monogamous person, knows a bit about my past, and has a past of her own. Let's just say, she has my back and I have hers. SO...as far as running into someone in public, this was a low risk person.
HOWEVER, she has her sister with her. Her sister that has met my husband. SHIT. I am FREAKING OUT. I see them walking towards me, my co-worker is excited to see me. She sits down with her sister, and apparently the sheer terror that I am feeling is evident. Steve returns, and instinctively puts his hand on my knee. I move his hand. THIS IS TOO FUCKING SCARY.
Long story short, co-worker's sister thinks I don't like her because of the vibe I am giving off. I had a few drinks in me, and decided to just lay it out. I looked at her and basically told her that my husband did not need to know that I was there with another man. Funny thing was, she remembered my husband, but not the fact that I was his wife! She was relieved to know that I didn't dislike her, and everything was cool. She could have cared less. I lightened up, and enjoyed myself.
Have you ever heard someone say that they fell in love all over again when they see their significant other do something? This HAPPENED last night. This was my first experience with Steven and people from my REAL LIFE in a social setting. And I am sitting there, watching him interact with my co-worker and her sister. Asking about jobs, relationships, kids, interests. Wanting details because that is just the type of person he is. I LOVE THIS ABOUT HIM MORE THAN I WILL EVER BE ABLE TO ADEQUATELY EXPRESS. I have spent 12 years being the one to carry the social life within my marriage. And here are these girls that are both younger than us, having this great time with MY STEVEN. Agreeing with me that he has an amazing ass while he wasn't at the table. Telling him he doesn't look his age (because he doesn't). Having fun.
I am telling you what, if that isn't hot, I don't know what is. I could have pounced on him right then and there. Just when I thought I couldn't love him any more than I already do...
RISKY? Possibly. Worth it? DEFINITELY.
