BLOW JOBS, COPS, AND DEEP THOUGHTS FROM THIS WEEK

We have pushed and finagled our way into seeing each other quite a bit this week. We are both exceptionally needy right now, yet neither one of us is quick to admit it. Sunday was a hard day, we both had the same realization on the 4th of July...HOLIDAYS ARE HARD. Our contact is limited, we want to be together and aren't able to be.

Sunday was a day of choppy conversations, and to be quite honest, some weren't very nice. We were pushing each other's buttons, and not in a good way. Steven was at our "lake" after he got off work...I had said I was going home but changed my mind. I arrived to find him sitting in his car, looking a bit sad. I walked over to him and just held him for dear life. We need to stop this crap, need to stop the petty fights. We are so damned crazy about each other, but if you take two strong personalities, two people that are wild for each other, and mix in the stress of jobs, families, spouses, and REAL LIFE, sometimes we erupt.

We spend the evening talking, walking on our beach, holding hands, and ended the night with a deep conversation about where we are headed. Our marriages. Our lives.

It was draining, yet energizing if that makes any sense. We needed that talk. We needed to hash things out. We needed to be each other's support system because WHO THE HELL ELSE UNDERSTANDS?

We were able to spend some time Monday together as well...and Tuesday was quite possibly a perfect day. We both left work to have a picnic lunch together, and after I met Steven at his office.

Well, can you guess where that led? That's right...from me sucking on his hard cock while he was sitting at his desk, to him bending me over his desk, to being on all fours on the floor, with him going to town behind me, and finally me whipping around just in time to catch his cum...and catch a little on my face too. Yummers!

After that we went to dinner...Chinese food and drinks. We had a nice mellow time, just enjoying each other.

We finished up the night at the Porn Store...getting a preview room after I made Steve choose the porn. I am HORRIBLE at choosing them! I hate it! It stresses me out...all of those naked people staring at me from the shelves, their breasts, and penises, and girl parts taunting me and I JUST CAN NOT MAKE A FUCKING DECISION! Can you tell that this has caused a dispute in our relationship? Steve PROMISED he would choose the movie this time, so I was game!

We got into our room and started our movie. With the sounds of sex as background noise, we slowly teased and loved on each other...I didn't even realize that we were being slow like that until Steven pointed it out after the fact. He is THE MOST OBSERVANT person. Ever.

We slowly escalated the action to include some great slaps (I seriously feel my self getting wetter when his hand makes contact with my cheek) and a bit of choking action. It was hot, sweaty, amazing sex...we stopped at a convenience store afterwards for drinks and snacks...mmmm...I love red Gatorade after great sex...

Wednesday we met up in the evening at our "lake" and just hung out in my minivan. Played around on my laptop, talked, hung out. Time seems to FLY when we are together. When it got dark, I convinced Steven to get in the back seat and let me give him a blow job. He was nervous...even though our "lake" is at the end of a dead end road...it is still a road, and cars sometimes go down it.

I got back there and took him in my mouth. I was really going at it, seriously not thinking, just enjoying. It was great, really great. All of a sudden Steven gasps and says something along the lines of "SHIT! IT'S A COP!"

He zips his pants and I am sitting, SCARED TO DEATH, on the floor of the van. The cop pulls around, and BEAMS HIS SPOT LIGHT IN THE BACK OF MY VAN. I am seriously terrified. I mean, we are in the back of a minivan. My van has a STUDENT OF THE MONTH STICKER from my son's school on it. We are in our 30's. REALLY? This is HAPPENING? I felt the exact same way when I was in a similar situation at 17. WHAT THE HELL? Affairs can REGRESS you in so many ways.

Steven smiled and waved at the cop, who strangely drove off. It took a few minutes for my heart rate to return to normal, and that ended the blow job action for the evening. Damn cop. Really. I was having fun!

I know it sounds amazing the amount of time that we have had together this week. It has been wonderful. It has also highlighted some things, at least for me.

I am avoiding my real life to an extent. I am functioning at a surface level in so many areas right now. I have stresses that are huge...and none have anything to do with Steven. He has the same. We have both agreed that this can't continue like it is. We both had unrealistic expectations of managing this double life for years and years. It is exhausting. It is hard work. It is stressful.

Is it worth it? Yes, right now, yes, it is worth it. Long term can I keep this up? No. I can't. The deeper we get into this, the harder things are. Holidays are harder. When one of us has sex with our spouse it is hard. When our contact is limited it is hard.

What I know to be true, right this minute, is that I am madly in love with Steven. A love like no love I have previously felt. And just when I think I can't possibly love him any more than I do, something shifts and I love him more!

And what I also know, is that my life changed the second I met him. And every second since, even the hard ones, are precious.

I also know that there will be a point that we look back and say IT WAS WORTH IT.

And lastly, I know this...WATCH OUT FOR COPS WHEN GIVING HEAD IN THE BACK OF YOUR MINIVAN!

WHERE DO YOU WANT TO PUT THAT?

I am so happy that Steve posted his history (see previous post)...it fills in the blanks on his side.

So...something that Steven figured out about me fairly quickly was that I hadn't been on many dates as an adult. My dating in high school was all that I really had done, and I met my husband at 16, and was dating him exclusively the next year. My husband isn't much of a planner, I honestly can't think of a time that we went on a date where I didn't plan it all and make it happen.

Steve decided that he wanted to make that a part of our relationship...dates! And he has been true to his word. I feel like a GROWN UP, and a KID at the same time! It is wonderful.

That next Saturday, almost a week after we had met in person, we had one seriously hot, sex filled date.

For some reason that day, I was in the mood for pigtails in my hair. It seemed a bit naughty. Steve seemed to like the look, which was good! We went to this hot tub place that you can get a room with a hot tub in it for an hour or so. There is music, television, showers, and a bathroom in the room too. This was a new experience, and I was excited! We got to our room, undressed, and proceeded to have an hour of AMAZING hot tub sex.

The combination of the water, the dim lighting, the music, and our naked bodies was euphoric. We were in every position, doing everything imaginable. Who knew that having a guy dive under water to go down on me would feel so damn good? Gives me chills just writing this. Bending over the edge of the hot tub, feeling him enter me slowly, and then pulling back out...almost all the way, but not quite. And then doing it over and over...while he enjoys the view of his wet cock sliding in and out of me.

I had Steve sitting on the edge of the hot tub so I could give his hard cock some oral attention, and boy was that hot...reaching around and squeezing his ass, his warm wet skin against mine, enjoying every single drop of pre-cum that I could.

Then he had me bend over the edge of the hot tub and with his fingers in me he proceeded to rim my ass. Now...I had never had this done before, and it just about put me through the roof. The new sensation was so good, so good I could hardly stand it.

We kissed and touched and fondled and licked and sucked and fucked, and ohhhhhh it was amazing. I had always known that a little biting action made me hot, but I was really into it this night. I wanted to FEEL Steve's teeth on me...the more he did it the more aroused I was. My ass got some good smacking too...including one last smack with the towel when we got out. When our time was up, we showered, and got dressed...both of us flushed from the heat, and smiling, of course.

We went to a Mexican restaurant...I ordered a lime margarita with dinner. We ate, drank, talked, all while keeping a close eye on those coming and going. We weren't in a "high risk" area, but still. You never know. I am sure I looked silly...soggy pigtails, jacked up eye makeup, and I swear I lost 10 pounds having sex in the hot tub, because my pants were falling down.

When we left, I figured that was our night, and I was so happy with that. We had a great time, enjoyed each other immensely, and I would have been beyond content. Steve had other plans in store for us though!

We arrived at an adult video store...I was a tad nervous...it wasn't like I hadn't been to one, but it can be a little overwhelming to see all of those THINGS...toys and gadgets and nakedness...oh my! Not one to ignore my nervousness, Steven held my hand, and all was fine. We went down a hallway that was dimly lit and lined with rooms...now this was new! I looked at the ground as we walked, not wanting to make eye contact with any of the men coming or going.

We went into a room...there was a bench, a chair, and a television with a million different porn channels. You put the money in and take a pick. There was also a partition that could be opened if you wanted to allow someone in the room next to you to watch. Hmmmm...again, this is new. And DEFINITELY interesting!

Steve selected a channel, and our hands and mouths found each other once again. I was very relaxed...how could I not be after the hot tub and margarita? We began removing items of clothing, hungry for each other as if we hadn't just had an hour of amazing sex earlier that evening. I eagerly took his cock in my mouth, and eventually ended up bent over on the bench desperately needing him in me.

Now, this wasn't a large space, nor was it the most conducive to seamless sex. However, it was erotic, we were alone, and as those of you in relationships like ours know...you do it where you can do it when you can do it. Am I right?

So, pants and panties down, bent over, and Steven is fumbling around to enter me. I wasn't at the best angle, it was a tad awkward. And for a minute I really thought he was attempting anal sex. For the record, I was cool with this...we had discussed it, he wasn't really in to it, but we left it on the table...which is funny because he has totally changed his mind about this over the past few months, but more on that later.

He is fumbling around behind me, and it occurs to me that I should find out his intent and assist him in entry.

I look over my shoulder, over my pigtails, and ask:

"WHERE DO YOU WANT TO PUT THAT?"

And to that he laughed, laughed some more, and replied "You are so fucking hot!" and we proceeded to have another round of amazing, hot sex...after he found where he needed to
"put that", of course!

Steve has brought up that line, "WHERE DO YOU WANT TO PUT THAT?" more times than I can count. It has turned into a joke between us, a phrase that represents my open minded attitude to all things related to sex. I was simply accommodating his needs and wants, and wherever he wanted to put that was fine with me!

When choosing the name for this blog, it seemed appropriate. Anything that one of us has suggested has been met with open minded enthusiasm from the other. We get excited over trying new things, excited over doing things together over and over that we have enjoyed, excited over being together in any way shape or form.

That night was a wonderful date, and we have continued to have great dates together. I love that Steve wants this component to our relationship, that there is that depth to it. We can have an amazing, hot night together, and the next time go out to dinner and for a drive, and that is equally amazing in its own way. How fantastic, that at 30, I am able to have this chance. The chance to feel what I have missed out on, the chance to experience new things, the chance to feel so sexually satisfied that it is beyond words.

And to be able to make the man of my dreams laugh just by saying "WHERE DO YOU WANT TO PUT THAT?" ...he knows that he can put that wherever he damn well pleases!