I am not the most relaxed person usually.
My mind is always in a million places, I fidget, I am restless often.
Steven's presence, or the thought of his presence, amps me up sexually.
Sparks fly between us often, some good and some bad.
Yet, for being so sexually exciting to me, for being someone that challenges me, for being someone that makes me think, he also RELAXES ME.
And I so desperately need that. More than I am willing to admit.
I need to mellow out now and then. I need to breathe. I need to slow down.
Tonight we met at a park for a bit. We talked a bit, kissed a bit, and that was pretty much it.
However, at one point, we were sitting on a bench, and I had him sit at one end and I sprawled across the bench with my head on his lap.
He surrounded my face with his arm, and rested his other hand on my forehead.
I kid you not, this was THE MOST RELAXED FEELING I HAVE EVER HAD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. No joke. I have had Valium pre-surgery. I have had every pain pill under the sun. I have smoked weed. I have drank. I am a big fan of pedicures and massages.
NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING has ever come close to putting me in such a completely relaxed state. I felt the tension of my fucked up, chaotic life drain out of me. It was heavenly.
Worthy of a blog post? To me it is. This is MY STORY, and I never want to forget how good that felt.
I already knew he was THE ONE. I already knew that he is who I am supposed to be with. I already knew that I am head over heels in love with him.
And now I know that he is capable of MELLOWING ME OUT?
That fact alone will make him adored by my friends and family when his presence becomes known! FINALLY! Someone who can do what NO ONE has been able to do!
I love him so damn much.
