My husband and I continued to have very infrequent, unsatisfying sex. He seemed to think that because he could give great oral sex, that he was off the hook. Oral sex has it's time and place, but I like me some cock. And some cock that LASTS. Finally, I snapped. Fuck it. I had, again, tried for 2 years. He had his business, a house that he loved in a town with his relatives either in it or nearby, sons that adore him, a clean house, a wife that thinks that swallowing cum is right up there with getting a pedicure, and I WAS TRYING.
I had watched an episode of Dr. Phil at some point that talked about Ashley Madison...a web site for married people looking to have an affair. And in the fall of 2008, I checked it out. It is free if you are a female, and I thought, what the hell. What did I have to lose?
I told my old friend Fran about it...she had left her husband, and was continuing an on again off again relationship with a married man. He had recently hid the fact that his wife was pregnant from her, and had been telling her that he had left her and was getting divorced. This alone is worthy of a blog post at some point. Fran and I both set up profiles. I used my real first name, was honest about my height and weight, and was vague about my home situation.
You could type all kinds of things about yourself, yet, I didn't want to. I had messages from guys within minutes. Most were gross. Cock shots, old guys, creepy guys. Yuck. And then, Adrien messaged me.
His profile picture was him sitting on a nice motorcycle, shirtless. The man had a body like none I had seen in real life. He seemed nice, lived in the area, and told me about his boring, "vanilla" relationship with his girlfriend of 5 years. He was a reserve cop, owned his own business, and seemed normal. And nice. And thought that his girlfriend was too skinny and he hated her fake boobs. I sent him a picture, and he went on and on about how I was just perfect. How could I, a sex deprived, pissed at her husband, constantly horny chic say NO to THAT?
We corresponded for a couple of weeks, and agreed to meet at a bar. In the lobby. Of a hotel. He said that he was booking a room, but no pressure, we would just talk and get to know each other. I was oddly calm when I went to meet him. I mean, cops are safe, right? I had no guilt, no hesitations. Fran knew where I was, I wasn't worried that this was dangerous. I had this new IT IS TIME TO TAKE CARE OF ME attitude, and that was what I was going to do.
I arrived early, and ordered a drink. He walked in right on time. I couldn't decide if he was attractive or not. I decided later that he wasn't. He wasn't tall...my height, but his spiky hair gave him an extra inch. His jeans were tight, and his shirt was too. He was very into his body, it was evident. Metro-sexual was a safe way to describe him, yet I am sure he looked downright gay to some people. And not that I have a problem with that...but...well, it was a bit much.
He ordered a drink, and some food, and we talked. He grabbed my hand and stroked it throughout much of the conversation. There was no doubt that he knew what he was doing. He had done this before. He told me about the numerous affairs he had, how boring his girlfriend was in bed, how restless he was. After a few drinks, I went to the hotel room with him. I could vomit right now thinking about how fucking smooth he was. He was almost CREEPY in the way he gushed over my body, using almost a baby voice. We had sex a few times, it sucked. It was very surreal. Yet, I left giddy, because it was sex, and he was a man, and he was nice. Sad, right?
A few days later Fran called, and was freaking out. Adrien had CONTACTED HER on Ashley Madison! She knew it was him from my description! She ignored his message and called me right away. I called him out on it. He laughed, acted like it wasn't a big deal. Said that he was going to take his profile down, that he was just bored at work one day and messaged some girls. I should have walked away right then.
We kept in contact, and a couple weeks later I went to his house in the morning before work. He met me at the door in a bathrobe, and we proceeded to have sex. Now, he was a talker in bed, and I like that. Yet, on this day, he took it to another level. He began referring to himself as DADDY. Does DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL LIKE THAT? DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL FEELS SO GOOD. I was shocked. Was this what he meant by NON-VANILLA? He had told me he wanted NON-VANILLA sex. Was this IT? I admit fault. I didn't tell him to stop. Yet, I didn't get into it either. I stayed neutral. And was very creeped out by the whole thing.
When I told Fran, she had a hay day with it...calling me and leaving me messages in a baby girl voice...asking where her daddy was. Anyone else would have been dead, yet it was hilarious from her. After this encounter Adrien told me that he was not going to be able to see me for awhile, that he was having issues with his girlfriend and needed to lay low. He essentially needed her to stay with him while he was in the process of building a new home. Jerk. Apparently someone that he had slept with contacted his girlfriend on Myspace and told her that Adrien was a cheater, that he met women on Ashley Madison, etc.
During this down time, I checked my Ashley Madison account occasionally. It was my busy time at work, so I didn't have a ton of down time, but still...things at home were still crappy. A guy named Codey contacted me, and we began chatting. Texting. He seemed really nice. Was in a horrible marriage to an alcoholic that refused to have kids, and he wanted kids really bad. The initial picture he sent to me was good...he looked older to me, but I liked that. He looked kind. I was not much of a stalker, but I looked him up online.
First I found that he had lied to me about his age, he had said he was 39, and was really 44. And his name wasn't really Codey. I confronted him on it, and he got SO MAD. He wanted to know how I knew this. It became apparent really fast that he wasn't savvy to the internet and all that it has to offer. When I reassured him that I had not found his wife, and was not doing anything to compromise his marriage, he calmed down. And I agreed to meet him for a drink.
The day that we were to meet, he asked if I wanted to stop by his work and see him before we met for drinks. So I did. When I saw him walking towards me, my stomach dropped. He looked NOTHING like the pictures. The pictures had to have been really cropped, really old, or something. He approached my vehicle...he was very tall. And had a CREEPY resemblance to my biological father. And I couldn't get past it. He was also awkward. I found nothing about him attractive. Not wanting to hurt his feelings, I met him for drinks later that day. He had several, I had one. Carrying a conversation with him was like pulling teeth. Impossible. It was strained. When he got up to use the bathroom, I texted Fran and requested a bail out call. She called within minutes, and I faked a work issue. The bill came, and I offered to pay, and HE LET ME. WHAT THE HELL? REALLY? THEN, he had the audacity to tell me that he was bummed that I had to leave, because he had parked his truck in a secluded spot and wanted to MAKE OUT. Wow. Hell fucking NO. I said, thanks but no thanks, and he asked for a hug. I manged that. And I left... Later that night I sent him an email, apologizing for not being interested in him, and said that I didn't see anything working out with us. He gave me some lame answer about how you never really know someone until after a few dates, and to that I said that it didn't matter how long I knew him, he would still look like my father, and I would never get past that. Ew. So...we cut ties nicely, he understood, and that was that.
I cancelled my Ashley Madison account. And shortly after heard from Adrien again. He wanted to meet up. At a hotel. Why not? So I agreed. It was weird...he broke out more DADDY talk while having sex, yet also wanted to tell me his entire family history. He knew nothing about my life or kids, or my marriage. He didn't seem interested. He had a vasectomy in his early twenties because kids were not in his plans, and my kids are my world. We could not relate to each other in this way. Yet, from a business standpoint, we were on the same page. So it was a manageable evening. When it was over, he left, and I showered and got dressed.
While driving home I got a call from Nick's sister, asking if I wanted to meet her at a bar...she was there with friends and family, and was missing me. I asked if Nick was there, and she said yes. She sensed my hesitation, and assured me it would be fun. So I agreed.
I arrived at this total dive bar that I hadn't been to in years. I was great to see Nick's sister, her boyfriend, her aunt, etc. And out of nowhere, there is Nick. I looked at him, and he looked at me. And we walked over to each other and hugged each other. We went outside to smoke a cigarette together, and had a decent conversation. It was if nothing had happened. Two years had passed since I had seen him. And in an odd way, it was healing for me. I have resentment towards him (and myself) for the whole situation, yet, it was healing.
Ironically, he saved my ass that night. I drank too much on an empty stomach and a prescription that shouldn't have been mixed with alcohol, and for the first time ever, I remembered nothing. Apparently I told him I couldn't drive, and he took me home. And apparently, after getting me home, he stayed up drinking (more) with my husband, and catching up with him. And he stayed the night at our house.
The next morning was chaos, I was late to work, he needed a ride home. I got ready, and took him to his sister's house. The car ride was odd...we chatted like normal. Like nothing had ever happened. I was weirded out by the whole thing...yet, I knew that I had closed that chapter, the chapter of Nick, in my life for good. And I knew that the Adrien chapter needed closed as well. I never saw him after that...it's funny how you can ignore one call from someone and they get it. They move on to their next prey. Like you never mattered, never existed...
