Sometimes getting completely lost in sex is the most amazing feeling ever.
To lose all awareness of everything...time, your surroundings, everything.
I did this last night.
And I REALLY NEEDED IT.
Round 1 was great, intense sex. Kisses, eye contact, oral...me getting a little emotional, and Steven whispering to just relax and let us do what we do best. Love each other. A little bit of everything, including some anal with Steven on top. This is really a pretty sweet position...you get the intimacy of being face to face while getting the naughtiness of anal. That is nice right there! Climax after climax...mmmmm...it was good. Some snuggle time afterwards was amazing too.
Round 2 was great, intense sex. YET, it was different.
At one point, Steven's cock was thrusting in and out of my mouth. His warm lips were teasing my nipples. I was working my friend, MR. HOT PINK VIBRATOR, around my clit, and occasionally sliding it in and out of me. MOST of my arousal was coming from is cock in my mouth. He would occasionally take it out, stroke it himself, and watching that right by my face was pretty hot. I flirted with mini-orgasms...not wanting to stop...letting the intensity grow...Steven was enjoying watching me play with MR. HOT PINK VIBRATOR...it was almost too much going on at once.
When he climbed on top of me and slid himself inside me (have I mentioned that feeling our bodies connected feels like I am just where I belong?) I continued to let MR. HOT PINK VIBRATOR buzz around my clit. Steven pounded and pounded, I looked at him, kissed him, touched his face. I knew he was close, and I was on the verge of something crazy. The knowledge that he was close to cumming was just what I needed...within seconds of each other we both explode orgasmically...and whatever the fuck noises I made cracked Steven up. It was seriously a crazy intense, long lasting, mind blowing orgasm. I felt what control I had of my body leave me, and I did a laugh/moan/scream/almost crying thing. I know I laughed...have you ever felt SO GOOD that laughing is all that you can do? It was like that. I was FUCKED SILLY.
My "real" life is in transition right now. My husband is going to slowly start to transition out of our house. I have talked to a lawyer. We need to talk to our children next week. My husband and I are on the same page...we know that we are doing what we need to do. What is best for both of us. There is no ugliness. No fighting. However, it is a lot for me to wrap my mind around. I am happy, sad, excited, scared. I am EXHAUSTED. I don't know when I have had a great night of sleep last. I am worried that Steven and I won't survive this transition I am going through. I am worried that when his time comes, when he is ready to dissolve his marriage, that I won't be what he needs. That I won't be a good support. There is SO MUCH on my mind.
And you know what? What I can't stop thinking about is HOW STRONG I AM. I can do this. My kids will be fine. They have two parents that love them, and will always take care of them. They will be fine. And I will too. I am also thinking that I am ONE STEP closer to where I belong...
This is a journey. A day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute journey. It isn't always pretty. It isn't always easy. It is exhausting. But, if I can lose myself for a few moments and embrace the true love that is between Steven and myself, I am okay. In that moment, I am okay.
I think great sex is like therapy. At least for me.
