Yesterday sucked... it was just miserable. Today isnt shaping up any better, but I'm too tired to fight it. I woke up around 7:30 yesterday morning extremely sick to my stomach. Not to be too graphic, but for 4 hours it came out of both ends. Master woke up a little after 10 and sent me for a nap around noon. It was the day we were supposed to work out our alone time schedules for me and my sister slave. After my nap the cable guy showed up to fix our phone (which had no dial tone for over 24 hours). Once that was done I started asking Master questions about what He had in mind for alone time schedules... He answered my questions patiently, but since His kitten wasn't in the room for the discussion He gently reminded me that He had planned to have the discussion with both of us and that I didn't like it when things that affected everyone were discussed without me. He was right, completely right, but I responded with a "I just have to get used to that anyways". It wasn't the best response at all, and it only came from the hurt I can't help but feel at the fact that once I go back to work after the baby I am convinced I am going to be pretty much an invisible part of the family. A paycheck. I know this isn't anyone's fault... working third shift wreaks havoc on families. Even before His kitten came to live with us we were having problems finding alone time together that didn't have to do with doctor's appointments and kids. It was a tad bit easier because we had daycare taking the kids so we could at least nap together, but now the girls are home all the time and we will have a new baby, which makes it even harder. Aside from my nights off, my time will be filled with appointments for the baby and the girls.
Anyways, after that comment Master was understandably upset with me. He was very calm about it though... I think He was taking into account the fact that I am 34 weeks pregnant and was pretty sick. I know that the hormones were raging and the sickness was making me wish I was dead. We had our talk and He decided that we'd flip a coin to decide who started the alone time cycle since His kitten and i both were suggesting that the other go first. Master decided to do alone time last night with each of us for 2 hours. I ended up winning the coin toss so I went first. Our alone time did not really go well. I was still emotional and worried about how I would probably be lucky to get an hour a week with Him after I go back to work and a little envious that His kitten would have 5 uninterrupted entire nights with Him a week. Its not that I am upset with her or jealous really... I just think that life circumstances are unfair sometimes. It really didn't help that during our 2 hour alone time we were interrupted by one of His daughters at least 3 times, and people were in the kitchen (which is right off of our room) which was a major distraction. We did have sex, but that didn't really go well either since I still wasn't feeling well, and His newly grown fingernails scratched my vaginal canal a lot. I had a very hard time cumming, and He got off, but didn't cum. I felt completely useless at that point, and He felt horrible for hurting me. Our alone time was pretty much over at that point since He had alotted 2 hours and we had about 4 minutes left. Our alone time ended with me feeling like the worst slave on the planet and praying that His kitten could do a better job at pleasing Him so that He would at least have some happiness.
During their alone time I sat on the porch and did my nightly journal, and then tried to start school work. Their alone time started a little after 10, so I knew I would have plenty of time to get some good headway done on my school work that is due today. Around 11:45 I started having severe Braxton Hicks contractions. They hurt so bad I could barely breathe. Master's daughter sat with me for about 40 minutes while I fought through them and we talked about all kinds of random things to keep my mind off of the pain. When Master and His kitten came out of the bedroom a little after midnight I was in extreme amounts of pain. Master asked if I was ready to come in and my answer was less than acceptable to Him. So the night when down the drain in a drastic amount of time. I felt even worse because He seemed to be in such a great mood after their alone time and I ruined His mood. I stayed on the porch for another hour trying to convince the contractions to subside, but they were only getting worse. Eventually I asked for His help and He was upset to find out that I hadn't eaten since 9:30 that morning and it was now after 1am. He made me some food, which I damn near threw up and put me to bed around 3. As of 3am the Braxtons were still going strong. I went to sleep praying that today would be better.
I woke up around 7 and pulled myself out of bed around 7:15. My alarm was set for 7:30... because someone had to get up with the girls. My sister was awake with the kids when I got up, but the kids have not been very well behaved today and I figured since I didn't get any school work done last night I should use the time up to work on it today... and since I am currently no good at serving Him sexually I could at least get some housework done. That hasn't worked so far. I've had a little under 4 hours of sleep, the kids are being asses, and I discovered that the phone doesn't have a dial tone... again. I called the cable company (for the record, I work for them), but they couldnt schedule me a trouble call because the trouble call system is down. I used my mother's cell to call them but the battery died and I have no idea where my mother is, so I can't get the charger which means I can't call back to schedule the appointment. I just realized I may be able to do it online. I'll have to check that out in a bit. I started the morning sick again as soon as I woke up. So far I've managed to keep down some dry cereal, which is good, but I now have no interest in eating anything at all.
Hopefully today gets a little better for me, because right now I'm just ready to hide under a rock.
